Super Secret Shriekhorn Tech

It's been a while since I've written for Magic, and in that time I've certainly gone off the radar with my decks. So much so that I've actually played Shriekhorn.

The sound it makes is a bit like "NOOOOOB"

Now, why the hell... Even in limited, having 26 of these is not a good enough excuse to play them (although admittedly it makes for good times). So why in Standard?

Because it's better than Tome Scour, and Scour isn't even in standard.

This card, for a single colorless mana, puts SIX cards in the yard. SIX. Its blue counterpart, Dream Twist, only provides half that many for 1cc. In order to get six cards out of a twist, you need to pay three times as much as you would for Shriekhorn.

So twisted, it's almost as
bad as my humor.

Now, why is this important?

Self-mill aggro.

If you want to play Boneyard Worm like he's Tarmygoyf, and you can, with Dream Twist you'd need to play an island on t1 plus dream twist and hit at least two creatures in the three cards to get past Gut Shot, then play a green source on t2 for the worm, then waste your t3 play recasting the twist or some other mill card.

Now replace Dream Twist with Shriekhorn.

On t1, you need a land. Not color specific at all. If you're stuck on blue or all your sources are in Hinterland Harbors, no problem. So you play the horn, and by the time you're able to cast the worm you've milled for four cards- one more than Dream Twist got you. And by the time you're attacking with your massive horny worm, you've gotten the full six cards out of the Horn, PLUS you get to do something else on t3. Maybe that's casting and flashing back a Dream Twist, maybe it's Armored Scaab, maybe it's Splinterfright, hell, maybe you Green Sun'd for another horny worm. The world is your oyster.

Your horny oyster.

The rest of the deck is fairly simple. Kessig Cagebreakers win when turned sideways, Phantasmal Bears are just a good aggro drop and more creatures for the milling, and Images help not just making more bombs, but also serve as removal for those pesky legendary beats that are all too common in the format. The Gut Shots help deal with an early Delver or enemy illusion, and can occasionally slay a Champion of the Parish or help with manipulating werewolf flips.

Teehee, the flavor text says 'bones'.

The list: Boweh's Massive Horny Worms


Creatures (27)

• 4 Phantasmal Bear
• 4 Boneyard Worm
• 4 Ambush Viper
• 4 Phantasmal Image
• 4 Splinterfright
• 4 Armored Skaab
• 3 Kessig Cagebreakers

Other Spells (13)

• 2 Gut Shot
• 3 Green Sun's Zenith
• 4 Shriekhorn
• 4 Dream Twist

My massive horny worm's massive horny big bro.

Lands (20)

• 4 Hinterland Harbor
• 9 Island
• 7 Forest

Sideboard (15)

• 2 Gut Shot
• 2 Nihil Spellbomb
• 3 Naturalize
• 4 Flashfreeze
• 2 Gnaw to the Bone
• 2 Ratchet Bomb

The sideboard is a bit generic, designed for number tweaks based upon your personal meta. Gut Shot is for dealing with Champion of the Parish or Delver early, Naturalize is for troubling equipment, Flashfreeze for wolf run decks, Gnaw to the Bone is for RDW, Ratchet bomb is for token decks, and Nihil is fairly self-explanatory.

Boweh out.